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Author: Subject: HAYSEED CHRISTMAS PARTY

True Peach



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  posted on 11/12/2007 at 07:43 PM
quote:
Man oh man did this thread ever take a sharp turn!

LMAO!






Its a urban legend that all the boys that were raised on farms had a relationship with a farm animal. I never did, but I know people that did and are still proud of it....

Talkin' bout a TRUE hayseed... Sheesh....

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 11/12/2007 at 08:25 PM
quote:
quote:
Man oh man did this thread ever take a sharp turn!

LMAO!






Its a urban legend that all the boys that were raised on farms had a relationship with a farm animal. I never did, but I know people that did and are still proud of it....

Talkin' bout a TRUE hayseed... Sheesh....


Oh, like Derek of Cincy. He's partial to ewes.

 

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Ultimate Peach



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  posted on 11/12/2007 at 08:39 PM
Wow, I was getting kinda scared there for a sec!

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 11/13/2007 at 07:24 AM
Drew, LOL! Like the song goes, they were just "Messin' With The Kid"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GqKg6GDTG8

 

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Peach Pro



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  posted on 11/13/2007 at 08:22 AM
Just like the Rolling ones sony " Hey McCloud, get off my ewe". Up here in VT hayseeds don't partake of farm animals, that's what family is for.
 

Universal Peach



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  posted on 11/13/2007 at 02:23 PM
"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, come to Daddy........"

..Overheard at Bluedud's family reunion.

spdb

 

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Ultimate Peach



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  posted on 11/13/2007 at 02:32 PM
I guess that's why goats always flinch around Bluedad!

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 11/13/2007 at 02:36 PM
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I guess that's why goats always flinch around Bluedad!
ROTFLMAO!!!

 

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Ultimate Peach



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  posted on 11/13/2007 at 03:26 PM
This just in......... Scientists finally found out why the Fainting goats are fainting!

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 11/14/2007 at 05:06 PM
Talked to owner, Zel, last nite...he is pumped about having a party with ABB music.
So, you're all invited, aint no royalty check going out, but we would love to have all of you that want to come. Jammin', food, and the greatest people around...
spdb

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 11/14/2007 at 05:48 PM
....and he's got the sign out behind the bar, "Livestock Welcome."
 
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Ultimate Peach



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  posted on 11/14/2007 at 07:30 PM
Hahaha! I guess somebody oughta make sure that they keep an eye on Bluedad!

 

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Maximum Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 05:33 AM
Boy, this sounds like it will be a heap of fun. Well, except for that initiation part, anyway!

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 07:42 AM
To be a Hayseed you must first kill a fifth of Wild Turkey and dance with a redneck woman. Or the other way around. Either will get you a membership card.

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 09:01 AM
I must point out that I have never been indoctrinated into the ranks of the Hayseed Mafia (heretofore referred to as the Hayseeds). Wild Turkey makes me vomit and I am afraid of redneck women. Or the other way around. I am also not jazzed about enduring the beatdown that brother BigDave has referred to.

Having been around the Hayseeds, I do know and understand many of their ways and customs. I have observed and noted the following:

1. Hayseeds are polite. In routine conversation it is not uncommon to hear phrases like, “yes sir”, “yes ma’am” and “is there any beer left in that cooler?”
2. Hayseeds possess fine table manners and culinary tastes. While a true Hayseed does eat sardines out of the can, he (or she) will usually bite off the head and spit it onto the floor before consuming the rest of the fish.
3. Hayseeds are educated. Some have been known to have progressed as far as the 8th or 9th grade before taking (and passing by the third or fourth attempt) their GED examination.
4. Hayseeds are mechanically inclined and prepared for most any repair to a van, pickup truck or motorcycle (although only Harley Davidson’s apply to the latter). A typical Hayseed toolbox contains several wrenches, screwdrivers, pliers and a six-pack.
5. Hayseeds are a stylish lot. Each member of this clan knows exactly which Jam For Duane t-shirt best matches the stains on his (or her) finest pair of Levis.
6. Hayseeds make impeccable houseguests and hotel room-mates. Just be careful not to trip over the one who happens to be sleeping on the floor of your room at the Hotel Beacon on your way to the bathroom at 4:00 am.

I urge all of you who have never seen the Hayseeds in their native habitat (usually a bar, concert hall or motel room) to attend this fine Christmas party that promises to be a blast. At least until the police or motel front desk clerk have bee apprised of the situation.

 

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Music is love, and love is music, if you know what I mean.
People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 09:10 AM
Heh heh

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 09:54 AM
Rusty certainly has words of wisdom! Always enjoy reading his stories as thay make me...ROFLMAO!!!

[Edited on 11/15/2007 by susea]

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 10:55 AM
From today's Gadsden Times (you can't make this stuff up):

"A Virginia man reported his pants were stolen from the room at the Gadsden Inn and Suites where he was staying while he slept sometime between 6 a.m. and 10 a.m. Nov. 13. Police received a call of something burning on another street and the pants were found, along with two credit cards. A cell phone, other credit cards and documents and cash were also in a wallet that was taken."

No mention of thongs or livestock in the story.


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Universal Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 12:57 PM
All they wanted was the thong in the back pocket.

**PARTY** Ya'll come!! Great stage with the Skydogs and many "guests".
Everyone is welcome. Any women in thongs get a very special "welcome"
from the Hayseeds. Yeah, and it gets better....
spdb

 

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Sublime Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 02:09 PM
quote:
All they wanted was the thong in the back pocket.

**PARTY** Ya'll come!! Great stage with the Skydogs and many "guests".
Everyone is welcome. Any women in thongs get a very special "welcome"
from the Hayseeds. Yeah, and it gets better....
spdb


Any women in thongs get a very special "welcome"
from the Hayseeds. Yeah, and it gets better....

especially if they are wearing just the "Skydogs Black Tee" with a thong and white socks...

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 02:27 PM
Why did I just think of Cheeze Whiz?

Man, I hang around this place too much.



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Zen Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 03:02 PM
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especially if they are wearing just the "Skydogs Black Tee" with a thong and white socks...


 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 03:04 PM
I dig white socks myself.

 

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Ultimate Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 06:54 PM
Dave, you don't need socks! You got plenty of fur like me!

 

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That's right never criticize some one till you walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you've got their shoes!

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 11/15/2007 at 07:48 PM
quote:
From today's Gadsden Times (you can't make this stuff up):

"A Virginia man reported his pants were stolen from the room at the Gadsden Inn and Suites where he was staying while he slept sometime between 6 a.m. and 10 a.m. Nov. 13. Police received a call of something burning on another street and the pants were found, along with two credit cards. A cell phone, other credit cards and documents and cash were also in a wallet that was taken."

No mention of thongs or livestock in the story.


eapfp


Rumor has it Joe Fester was the victim.

 

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