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Author: Subject: Sayings that once didn't make sense

Peach Master





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  posted on 6/6/2011 at 06:11 PM
I ran a service station in DC for a bunch of years. This older man walks in and asks for the bathroom key saying "I gotta pee so bad my teeth are floating" Well it's a bunch of years later and now that I am an "older man" I know what he meant now.

Any other old sayings that make sense to you now?

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 6/6/2011 at 08:36 PM
Growing up in the south, I've heard some dingers:

More nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs.
Happier than a dead pig in the hot sun.
You're so full of $hit your eyes are brown.
You're so full of $hit your breath stinks.
Gotta pee so bad my eyeballs are floatin'.
(referring to an obese person) He's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
(referring to a person with buck teeth) He could eat corn on the cob through a chain link fence!

I could go on for days!

 

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People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 6/6/2011 at 09:04 PM
quote:
Growing up in the south, I've heard some dingers:

More nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs.
Happier than a dead pig in the hot sun.
You're so full of $hit your eyes are brown.
You're so full of $hit your breath stinks.
Gotta pee so bad my eyeballs are floatin'.
(referring to an obese person) He's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
(referring to a person with buck teeth) He could eat corn on the cob through a chain link fence!

I could go on for days!
An alternate to one of those...

I got to pee so bad my eyeballs are yellow.

One of my old favorites.

He's so confused he doesn't know whether to wind his butt or scratch his watch.

 

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Sublime Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 05:48 AM
Growing up we had a family owned scrap business ( junk yard) and I remember my Mom always saying to my Dad..

When your too good, Your no good... huh ???????????

I never understood that..until I got older and went out in the world.so, true..

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 06:34 AM
Another of my favorites - this one from a friends dad who passed a couple of weeks ago:

"I don't understand everything I know about that."

 

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Music is love, and love is music, if you know what I mean.
People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

Peach Pro



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 08:11 AM
Rusty a few more "southernisms"

If my Granny thought our clothes were too tight and thought we should change into something more "appropriate" she'd say they were "tighter than Dick's hat band" ?????? LOL

Also if someone was drinking and staggering "they were drunker than a nine eyed cat"

Had two friends that would greet eachother this way EVERYTIME they saw eachother
"how's ya Momma n 'em?" answer "they aint kickin up no dust..."

And one more " If you waitin on me you backin up"

I guess not only am I from the South but from the "country" too huh? LOL

One more for a "freeloader", "he's riding that gravy train on biscuit wheels" I could do this all day!

[Edited on 6/7/2011 by gapeach69]

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 08:56 AM

Sweatin' like a whore in church

 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 09:09 AM
If someone is lazy..."They're so sorry, they wouldn't blow the whistle on the gravy train."

If someone asks me I'm doing, I say, "Hangin' in there like a dingleberry," or, "I'm so good, if I was a mule, I'd run away."

If someone is off kilter, mentally..."They're a few bricks shy of a cube," or, "Their elevator don't go to the top floor."

 

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Universal Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 09:20 AM
I had one, but I forgot.
 
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Peach Pro



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 09:30 AM
Variation of one of Big Dave's "he's 3 bricks shy of a load"

And I tell u who needs to be on this thread, my sister Renee Dudley.....She just told me one the other day, referring to a CRAZY lady who proved it the very next day....."she crazier than a runned over dawg" exact Renee quote of course


and How about "$hit fire save matches" and my Granny also used to say instead of "well I'll be damn"....."well I'll be jumped up" ????

biodtl5 not sure if this is where you meant for this thread to go, but i sure needed these laughs today.....Thank You!

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 09:34 AM
quote:
And I tell u who needs to be on this thread, my sister Renee Dudley.....She just told me one the other day, referring to a CRAZY lady who proved it the very next day....."she crazier than a runned over dawg" exact Renee quote of course
Varitaion of that...."Crazier than a sh!thouse rat."

 

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Peach Pro



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 09:45 AM
That's my saying!! I told Dk and Renee that one night and he spewed beer all over me!!! hahahahaha! They had never heard it! could'nt believe RD had never heard it! LOL

I do believe u may have a little "country" in you BDOB
[Edited on 6/7/2011 by gapeach69]

[Edited on 6/7/2011 by gapeach69]

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 09:50 AM
quote:
Variation of one of Big Dave's "he's 3 bricks shy of a load"

And I tell u who needs to be on this thread, my sister Renee Dudley.....She just told me one the other day, referring to a CRAZY lady who proved it the very next day....."she crazier than a runned over dawg" exact Renee quote of course


and How about "$hit fire save matches" and my Granny also used to say instead of "well I'll be damn"....."well I'll be jumped up" ????

biodtl5 not sure if this is where you meant for this thread to go, but i sure needed these laughs today.....Thank You!


I saw skypup post the "crazier than a run over dog" on FB and cracked up! He gave proper credit to Renee, and I got permission to use it micelf. And, I have.

Renee has a whole catalog of 'em. Dogs, collard worms, etc. It's some funny stuff, too.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 09:52 AM
Nervous as a whore in church.

Ain't no flies on that.

Hotter than a June bride in a feather bed. (Favorite of my grandfather.)

And he used the "tighter than Dick's hatband", too.

I'll think of more.

[Edited on 6/7/2011 by alanwoods]

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 09:58 AM
If you had a dinner and all the dishes were cleaned - all the food gone - "it'll be a clear day tomorrow!"

 

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Peach Pro



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 10:33 AM
"its colder than a witches ti##y" I never understood that one but heard it used a lot, when winter came and "colder than a well diggers a$$"

Oh and my daddy used to say this about an unattractive woman "whew, she's a two bagger, you need to put two bags over her head in case the wind blows one off" thats awful....I apologize to my fellow ladies.

Also never understood this one either , "they look like they've been rode hard and put up wet to dry" WTH?

Lord I will b glad to get back to work tomorrow, i see now how bored people get addicted to the computer! LOL

[Edited on 6/7/2011 by gapeach69]

 

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World Class Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 10:38 AM
About a ladies man: "He's dropped more seed than a blind parakeet"

one I say alot:

" I like sleeping so ,much I wish I were awake to enjoy it more".

[Edited on 6/7/2011 by TanDan]

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 10:46 AM
quote:
"its colder than a witches ti##y" I never understood that one but heard it used a lot, when winter came and "colder than a well diggers a$$"
Embellished version of the first one above...

"Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra doing push ups on an iceberg."

 

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Peach Pro



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 10:51 AM
quote:
quote:
"its colder than a witches ti##y" I never understood that one but heard it used a lot, when winter came and "colder than a well diggers a$$"
Embellished version of the first one above...

"Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra doing push ups on an iceberg."

oh my Lord that made me laugh, thats a good one! I guess thats pretty dang cold.....
I just text Renee, she's in Florida...but I told her to find a computer and quick, maybe she will join in later......we can only hope.

 

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Peach Extraordinaire



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 10:59 AM
He don't know sh!t from shineola!
That old man's so smart, he forgot more than you know.
Balls!!! said the Queen, if I had'em I'd be King!
About as useful as tits on a bull.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 11:13 AM
quote:

Also never understood this one either , "they look like they've been rode hard and put up wet to dry" WTH?





It's regarding ladies that like to get around. Think about it.

 

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True Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 11:13 AM
referring to someone's homosexuality: "he's queerer than a football bat".
referring to a very unattractive woman (can't be used on this site ): "she's uglier than a mud fence".
on being intoxicated (drunk), "I was so drunk, I couldn't find my @ss with rearview mirror and a Texaco road map!"

 

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Music is love, and love is music, if you know what I mean.
People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

Extreme Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 11:17 AM

Busier'n a one-legged man at the ass-kickin' contest...

The girl's so ugly, her momma had to tie a bone around her neck to get the dog to play with her...


 

Extreme Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 11:18 AM

that's as fuctup as a screen door on a submarine

 

True Peach



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  posted on 6/7/2011 at 11:39 AM
Can the Northern urban kids play too?

He's happier than a sissy in boy's town.
He's busier than a one-armed monkey with two d***s.

And from my uncle Mike, the type of guy that might hang out at the Italian American social club . . . She had a kind face. The kind I'd like to throw sh*t at.

 

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