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Author: Subject: Rock's dumbest lyrics awards

Maximum Peach





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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 01:21 PM
For rock's #1 dumbest lyric award, I nominate "The Last in Line" by Dio:


We're the ship without a storm
The cold without the warm
Light inside the darkness
That it needs, yeah

We're a laugh without tear
The hope without the fear
We are coming, home

We're off to the witch
We may never, never, never, come home
But the magic that we'll feel
Is worth the lifetime

We're all born upon the cross
We're the throw before the toss
You can release yourself
But the only way is down

We don't come alone
We are fire, we are stone
We're the hand that writes
Then quickly moves away

We'll know for the first time
If we're evil or divine
We're the last in line, yeah
We're the last in line

Two eyes from the east
It's the angel or the beast
And the answer lies
Between the good and bad

We search for the truth
We could die upon the tooth
But the thrill of just the chase
Is worth the pain

We'll know for the first time
If we're evil or divine
We're the last in line, yeah
We're the last in line, oh

Yeah, we're off to the witch
We may never, never, never come home
But the magic that we'll feel
Is worth a lifetime

We're all born upon the cross
You know we're the throw before the toss
You can release yourself
But the only way to go is down

We'll know for the first time
If we're evil or divine
We're the last in line, oh
We're the last in line
See how we shine

We're the last in
We're the last in
We're the last in
We're the last in
We're the last in
We're the first in line, oh

We're a ship without a storm
We're the cold inside the warm
We're the laugh without tear
We're the smile without the mirror

We're the last in line
We're the last in line
We're the last in line
See how we shine
We're the last in line



Songwriters
CAMPBELL, VIVIAN PATRICK / BAIN, JIMMY / DIO, RONNIE JAMES













[Edited on 8/29/2014 by BrerRabbit]

 
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Peach Master



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 02:42 PM
I'm sorry, but that's Shakespeare compared to..

'Cause the free wind is blowin' through your hair
And the days surround your daylight there
Seasons crying no despair
Alligator lizards in the air, in the air

Did di di di dit .

And from the same band..."the heat was hot"....really, Sherlock?


On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

After two days in the desert sun
My skin began to turn red
After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

After nine days I let the horse run free
'Cause the desert had turned to sea
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
there was sand and hills and rings
The ocean is a desert with it's life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

 

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Peach Master



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 02:49 PM
Then there's this...although maybe it doesn't count since most of isn't in any known human language...


La da da da , da da da , da da da , da da da da da
da da da, da da da, da da dad a, da da da da da ….

Good morning starshine
The earth says hello
You twinkle above us
We twinkle below

Good morning starshine
You lead us along
My love and me as we sing
Our early morning singing song

Gliddy gloop gloopy
Nibby nobby nooby
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba dabba
Le le lo lo
dooby ooby walla
dooby abba dabba
Early morning singing song

Good mornin' starshine
There's love in your skies
reflecting the sunlight
in my lovers eyes

Good morning starshine
so happy to be
My love and me , as we sing
Our early morning singing song

Gliddy gloop gloopy
Nibby nobby nooby
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba dabba
Le le lo lo
dooby ooby walla
dooby abba dabba
Early morning singing song

 

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Maximum Peach



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 03:51 PM
Gliddy gloop gloopy
Nibby nobby nooby
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba dabba
Le le lo lo
dooby ooby walla
dooby abba dabba

I AM DYING lmAO....KILLS...hurts...ow



[Edited on 8/29/2014 by BrerRabbit]

 

World Class Peach



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 04:07 PM
quote:
I'm sorry, but that's Shakespeare compared to..

'Cause the free wind is blowin' through your hair
And the days surround your daylight there
Seasons crying no despair
Alligator lizards in the air, in the air

Did di di di dit .

And from the same band..."the heat was hot"....really, Sherlock?


On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

After two days in the desert sun
My skin began to turn red
After three days in the desert fun
I was looking at a river bed
And the story it told of a river that flowed
Made me sad to think it was dead

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...

After nine days I let the horse run free
'Cause the desert had turned to sea
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
there was sand and hills and rings
The ocean is a desert with it's life underground
And a perfect disguise above
Under the cities lies a heart made of ground
But the humans will give no love

You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
La, la ...



LOL - hate that song as much as I hate the Eagles. Spent many a wasted night wondering why they just didn't shoot the f**ng horse and end the song. And btw supposedly America was signed cause the record producer felt they sounded like Neil Young!!! We need Marlon Brando from Apocalypse Now to end "the horror"

 

World Class Peach



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 04:10 PM
AND ALSO

Paul McCartney may be a musical genius but sometimes his lyrics make him seem like an f*in moron

"Junior's Farm"


You should have seen me with the pocker man,
I had a honey and I bet a grand,
Just in the nick of time I looked at his hand.

I was talking to an Eskimo,
Said he was hopping for a fall of snow,
When up popped a sea lion ready to go.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go
Down to junior's farm where I want to lay low,
Low life, high life, oh, let's go,
Take me down to junior's farm.

At the Houses of Parliament
ev'rybody's talking 'bout the President,
We all chip in for a bag of cement.

Olly Hardy should have had more sense,
He bought a gee-gee and he jumped the fence,
All for the sake of a couple of pence.

I took my bag into a grocer's store,
The price is higher than the time before,
Old man asked me why is it more.

I said you should have seen me with the poker man,
I had a honey and I bet a grand,
Just in the nick of time I looked at his hand.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go
Down to junior's farm where I want to lay low,
Low life, high life, oh, let's go,
Take me down to junior's farm,
Let's go, let's go, down to junior's farm where I want to lay low.

Low life, high life, oh, let's go,
Take me down to junior's farm
Ev'rybody tag along.
Take me down to junior's farm.

 

True Peach



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 04:11 PM
Folks, they're lyrics. Poetry. Onomatopoeia. You want to hear a technical manual to a NASA turbocharged rocket engine set to music or something?

 

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Music is love, and love is music, if you know what I mean.
People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

World Class Peach



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 04:17 PM
quote:
Folks, they're lyrics. Poetry. Onomatopoeia. You want to hear a technical manual to a NASA turbocharged rocket engine set to music or something?


Only person who could have pulled that off was Jim Morrison - throw in a few lizard/snake references and you know you would have been first in line to buy it

 

Maximum Peach



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 05:44 PM
quote:
Folks, they're lyrics. Poetry. Onomatopoeia. You want to hear a technical manual to a NASA turbocharged rocket engine set to music or something?


You want onomatopoeia, Rusty?



Onomatopoeia -Todd Rundgren (from the album Hermit of Mink Hollow )


Onomatopoeia every time I see ya
My senses tell me hubba
And I just can't disagree
I get a feeling in my heart that I can't describe
It's sort of lub, dub, lub, dub
A sound in my head that I can't describe
It's sort of zoom, zip, hiccup, drip
Ding, dong, crunch, crack, bark, meow, whinnie, quack

Oh yeah X 3

Onomatopoeia in proximity ya
Rearrange my brain in a strange cacophony
I get a feeling somewhere that I can't describe
It's sort of uh, uh, uh, uh
A sound in my head that I can't describe
It's sort of whack, whir, wheeze, whine
Sputter, splat, squirt, scrape
Clink, clank, clunk, clatter
Crash, bang, beep, buzz
Ring, rip, roar, retch
Twang, toot, tinkle, thud
Pop, plop, plunk, pow
Snort, snuk, sniff, smack
Screech, splash, squish, squeek
Jingle, rattle, squeel, boing
Honk, hoot, hack, belch

Oh yeah X 3


Todd dubs in an actual sound effect right after singing each onomatopoeic word above.

It is a frightfully silly song pop song with what would fit in here on this thread nicely as dumb lyrics but....

I LOVE IT!

 

____________________
"In my dream the pipes were playing
In my dream I lost a friend
Come down Gabriel and blow your horn
Cause some day we will meet again"

Fallen Angel -Robbie Robertson (for HughDuty...and for TanDan)


RIP Strider...(1999-2012)

 

True Peach



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 06:11 PM
Todd Almighty was being clever!

I actually like some of the lyrics up there - especially the McCartney song (Junior's Farm) and the America song. Worst, dumbest lyric? I'd think it would be from the bubblegum genre:

Yummy, yummy, yummy
I've got love in my tummy

something like that.

 

____________________
Music is love, and love is music, if you know what I mean.
People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

Maximum Peach



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  posted on 8/29/2014 at 06:14 PM
quote:
Todd Almighty was being clever!



And of course I agree brother...

Todd Almighty?

Never heard that one before, but it DOES fit...

 

____________________
"In my dream the pipes were playing
In my dream I lost a friend
Come down Gabriel and blow your horn
Cause some day we will meet again"

Fallen Angel -Robbie Robertson (for HughDuty...and for TanDan)


RIP Strider...(1999-2012)

 

True Peach



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  posted on 8/30/2014 at 09:29 PM
No weed was smoked while writing any of these lyrics

 

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Peach Head



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  posted on 8/30/2014 at 10:10 PM
Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

You don't have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what you're doin' after the show

Now it's up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, I'll show you lovin' like you never knew

That's why, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, hot blooded

If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But you've got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? you sure look that way to me

Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight?

Yeah I'm hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded, I'm hot

Now it's up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, you'll have to get away from you know who

Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded

Hot blooded, every night
Hot blooded, you're looking so tight
Hot blooded, now you're driving me wild
Hot blooded, I'm so hot for you, child
Hot blooded, I'm a little bit high
Hot blooded, you're a little bit shy
Hot blooded, you're making me sing
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing

 

Peach Head



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  posted on 8/30/2014 at 10:14 PM
... And the ABSOLUTE WORST!!!!


"Working For The Weekend"

Everyone's watching to see what you will do
Everyone's looking at you, oh
Everyone's wondering will you come out tonight
Everyone's trying to get it right, get it right

Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a new romance
Everybody's going off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh

You want a piece of my heart?
You better start from the start
You want to be in the show?
C'mon baby, let's go

Everyone's looking to see if it was you
Everyone wants you to come through
Everyone's hoping it'll all work out
Everyone's waiting to hold you out

Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a new romance, hey yeah
Everybody's going off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh

You want a piece of my heart?
You better start from the start
You want to be in the show?
C'mon baby, let's go

Hey!

You want a piece of my heart?
You better start from the start
You want to be in the show?
C'mon baby, let's go

You want a piece of my heart?
You better start from the start
You want to be in the show?
C'mon baby, let's go




Beat that!!! (That's what she said)

 

A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 8/30/2014 at 10:23 PM
Don't think me unkind
Words are hard to find
The only cheques I've left unsigned
From the banks of chaos in my mind
And when their eloquence escapes me
Their logic ties me up and rapes me

De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true

Poets, priests and poiticians
Have words to thank for their positions
Words that scream for your submission
And no one's jamming their transmission
'Cos when their eloquence escapes you
Their logic ties you up and rapes you

De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true

(De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true)

 

____________________

 

Extreme Peach



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  posted on 8/31/2014 at 01:59 AM
My absolute favorite aartist, but really?.................

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle in your boots and shoes
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, you got nothing to lose
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a swarm of bees
Wiggle on your hands and knees

Wiggle to the front, wiggle to the rear
Wiggle ’til you wiggle right out of here
Wiggle ’til it opens, wiggle ’til it shuts
Wiggle ’til it bites, wiggle ’til it cuts

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead
Wiggle—you can raise the dead

Wiggle ’til you’re high, wiggle ’til you’re higher
Wiggle ’til you vomit fire
Wiggle ’til it whispers, wiggle ’til it hums
Wiggle ’til it answers, wiggle ’til it comes

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like satin and silk
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a pail of milk
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, rattle and shake
Wiggle like a big fat snake



 

Maximum Peach



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  posted on 8/31/2014 at 10:23 AM
I think that for some of these criticisms it's really unfair to look at the lyrics on a screen without the song playing. For example, McCartney's "Junior's Farm". Yes, the lyrics are kinda silly. They were MEANT to be silly!! You're missing the point. Play the song, it's a really, really happy song..........McCartney NEVER meant for the lyrics to be analyzed, QUITE the opposite. You're SUPPOSED to forget about serious sh*t when you listen to Junior's Farm and it WORKS! I've never heard that song come on the radio when I didn't get a happy feeling. Yes, McCartney is a GENIUS!

And here's another one I have a problem with: Hot Blooded by Foreigner. Maybe it sounds like a bunch of really stupid pick-up lines. Maybe if you were Lou Gramm you'd understand. When I was in college from 1991-1994 I worked a couple of summer seasons at The Mountain Winery in Saratoga and Foreigner played there. They had suites right there on site at The Winery where the artists could stay. One of the other guys working there was in charge of making sure band members got everything they needed and wanted. Well trust me, Lou Gramm got everything he needed and wanted. This guy told me that there were a number of EXTREMELY hot chicks just hoping for a liaison with Gramm. He described one of them to Gramm, who said, "Yeah, I love her. Let her in." The guy let her into Gramm's suite. Remember, this is ONE venue on a tour. Imagine, this kind of thing must have been going on everywhere Foreigner stopped. Do the lyrics to Hot Blooded really sound that stupid to you now?



[Edited on 8/31/2014 by robslob]

 

____________________
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Drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to take your stand
And TAKE IT EASY

 

Extreme Peach



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  posted on 8/31/2014 at 10:42 AM
Really, most of the lyrics McCartney wrote were dopey.
 

Peach Head



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  posted on 8/31/2014 at 11:39 AM
quote:
I think that for some of these criticisms it's really unfair to look at the lyrics on a screen without the song playing. For example, McCartney's "Junior's Farm". Yes, the lyrics are kinda silly. They were MEANT to be silly!! You're missing the point. Play the song, it's a really, really happy song..........McCartney NEVER meant for the lyrics to be analyzed, QUITE the opposite. You're SUPPOSED to forget about serious sh*t when you listen to Junior's Farm and it WORKS! I've never heard that song come on the radio when I didn't get a happy feeling. Yes, McCartney is a GENIUS!

And here's another one I have a problem with: Hot Blooded by Foreigner. Maybe it sounds like a bunch of really stupid pick-up lines. Maybe if you were Lou Gramm you'd understand. When I was in college from 1991-1994 I worked a couple of summer seasons at The Mountain Winery in Saratoga and Foreigner played there. They had suites right there on site at The Winery where the artists could stay. One of the other guys working there was in charge of making sure band members got everything they needed and wanted. Well trust me, Lou Gramm got everything he needed and wanted. This guy told me that there were a number of EXTREMELY hot chicks just hoping for a liaison with Gramm. He described one of them to Gramm, who said, "Yeah, I love her. Let her in." The guy let her into Gramm's suite. Remember, this is ONE venue on a tour. Imagine, this kind of thing must have been going on everywhere Foreigner stopped. Do the lyrics to Hot Blooded really sound that stupid to you now?



[Edited on 8/31/2014 by robslob]



Yes, fun governor, they still sound pretty stupid to me. Your argument to convince me otherwise... Not compelling. Pretty sure this was supposed to be a light hearted thread. I understand how judging music lyrics separated from the music is wrong, but it was fun. Not every songwriter can be a Cohen or Dylan. Thanks OP.

 

Peach Head



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  posted on 8/31/2014 at 11:42 AM
BTW... You should have started from the start.

[Edited on 8/31/2014 by scottdaugherty]

 

World Class Peach



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  posted on 8/31/2014 at 12:26 PM
quote:
Todd Almighty was being clever!

I actually like some of the lyrics up there - especially the McCartney song (Junior's Farm) and the America song. Worst, dumbest lyric? I'd think it would be from the bubblegum genre:

Yummy, yummy, yummy
I've got love in my tummy

something like that.


My grandma (RIP 50 years) was a brilliant lady; and ahead of her time. Had her own business and kept her maiden name in 1920. When asked if someone/something was beautiful her response was always "Beauty is what pleases you."

 

Maximum Peach



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  posted on 8/31/2014 at 01:29 PM

ok, here's one that will beat anything by Dio, but I think Good Morning Starshine may trump them all, this one shows what occurs inside empty minds when acid is poured into them:

Incense and Peppermints - Strawberry Alarm Clock


Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankind
Dead kings, many things I can't define
Occasions, persuasions clutter your mind
Incense and peppermints, the color of time


Who cares what games we choose?
Little to win but nothin' to lose


Incense and peppermints, meaningless nouns
Turn on, tune in, turn your eyes around


Look at yourself, look at yourself, yeah, yeah
Look at yourself, look at yourself, yeah, yeah, yeah!


To divide this cockeyed world in two
Throw your pride to one side, it's the least you can do
Beatniks and politics, nothing is new
A yardstick for lunatics, one point of view


Who cares what games we choose?
Little to win but nothin' to lose


Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankind
Dead kings, many things I can't define
Occasions, persuasions clutter your mind
Incense and peppermints, the color of time


Who cares what games we choose?
Little to win but nothin' to lose


Incense and peppermints
Incense and peppermints


Sha la la
Sha la la
Sha la la
Sha la la
Sha la la


 

Zen Peach



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  posted on 8/31/2014 at 01:36 PM
quote:
AND ALSO

Paul McCartney may be a musical genius but sometimes his lyrics make him seem like an f*in moron

"Junior's Farm"


You should have seen me with the pocker man,
I had a honey and I bet a grand,
Just in the nick of time I looked at his hand.

I was talking to an Eskimo,
Said he was hopping for a fall of snow,
When up popped a sea lion ready to go.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go
Down to junior's farm where I want to lay low,
Low life, high life, oh, let's go,
Take me down to junior's farm.

At the Houses of Parliament
ev'rybody's talking 'bout the President,
We all chip in for a bag of cement.

Olly Hardy should have had more sense,
He bought a gee-gee and he jumped the fence,
All for the sake of a couple of pence.

I took my bag into a grocer's store,
The price is higher than the time before,
Old man asked me why is it more.

I said you should have seen me with the poker man,
I had a honey and I bet a grand,
Just in the nick of time I looked at his hand.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go
Down to junior's farm where I want to lay low,
Low life, high life, oh, let's go,
Take me down to junior's farm,
Let's go, let's go, down to junior's farm where I want to lay low.

Low life, high life, oh, let's go,
Take me down to junior's farm
Ev'rybody tag along.
Take me down to junior's farm.


Keeping with the Sir Paul line....

Someone's knockin' on the door
Someone's ringin' the bell.


I have to stop now or I'll have to kill myself.

 

____________________
Quit!

 

Maximum Peach



Karma:
Posts: 8241
(8241 all sites)
Registered: 10/12/2002
Status: Offline

  posted on 8/31/2014 at 05:34 PM
quote:

Pretty sure this was supposed to be a light hearted thread.


Then why are you getting so serious?

 

____________________
Don't let the sounds of your own wheels
Drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don't even try to understand
Just find a place to take your stand
And TAKE IT EASY

 

Peach Head



Karma:
Posts: 106
(106 all sites)
Registered: 1/2/2012
Status: Offline

  posted on 8/31/2014 at 07:37 PM
quote:
quote:

Pretty sure this was supposed to be a light hearted thread.


Then why are you getting so serious?


Ha.. Ha... Ha. You are so lame! Your contribution to this thread has been very minimal. All others please pick up after this line-----------------------------------------------------------/----------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Fun starts here...

 
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