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Author: Subject: For "Serious" musicians only

Zen Peach





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  posted on 1/16/2008 at 03:27 PM
saw this over on music toyz forums.
too funny:

From Craigslist...

Hi my name is Tony Ray Pulaski and I am a Bluesman. I play a 1961 Fender Stratocaster which is all original and strung with .011's into an Ibanez tubescreamer which has been modified with a 4558 chip and all carbon comp resistors. I use a Fender Deluxe Reverb amplifier which was gutted and all the resistors were replaced with NOS allen bradley carbon comps. I play the real blues like my main man Stevie Ray Vaughan, in fact I have one of his guitar picks which I wear around my neck for mojo. I am currently engaged to an african-american woman from Arkansas and our experiences together (such as people whispering about us and the dirty looks we get at dinner) form the basis for my blues.

I need a bass player and a drummer to back me up in the studio and maybe for some gigs too. The bass player needs to have a Fender bass built BEFORE 1965 with no ceramic tone caps ( I will have my tech at auditions to open up and check) must use all tube amplifiers pre-1980, with an 8x10 cabinet and own transportation. The drummist needs to be familiar with all the various blues beats like the shuffle, the flat tire, the shug, the funky dunk, and the whap-a-dang. Please, no Sonar or Pearl kits!

I have written an album;s worth of songs "The Blues Are Falling Down On Me" "Cold Blue Rain" "I Got The Blues For My Baby" "Bluesman Blues". And need a back up band to help record it.

When applying for either position, please send a detailed description of your equipment (with photos) along with photos of yourself in gig clothing. After receiving that, I will call you to arrange an audition.

I got my mojo woiking and I hope yours is too!







[Edited on 1/17/2008 by lonomon]

 

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A Peach Supreme



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  posted on 1/16/2008 at 07:09 PM
My drummer is going to audition, but he's gonna work on his whap-a-dang first . . .

 

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  posted on 1/16/2008 at 07:16 PM
Sounded pretty cool up until the gig clothing thing. I mean if I can bring the Shug and Whap a Dang to the table jeans and a tee shirt don't work? Best of luck to your drummer Steve........

 

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  posted on 1/16/2008 at 09:01 PM
quote:
I am a Bluesman. I play a 1961 Fender Stratocaster which is all original and strung with .011's into an Ibanez tubescreamer


no true self respecting bluesman would use a tube screamer.

 

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  posted on 1/16/2008 at 10:06 PM
Dear Bluesman, My name is Screamin' Shriveled Willie & I am a drummist extraordinaire. I can hold my own when beatin' out the whap-a-dang, shoo-ba-doo & whatza-chang. Although my favorite is the slippy fish on the bing-ba-da-bing (ya dig or are you square?) My main source of inspiration comes from my third wife who died in a fiery sculpting accident, which is where I first discovered the blues deep within. I play D-dub's reskinned air-tight. My main blues influence is the big man Niel Purt from Rush- no amateurs alright? I have enclosed a picture of myself in stage gear gettin' my mojo flowin'

(Sorry how do you load polaroids anyway?!)


[Edited on 1/17/2008 by slowhand6]

 

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Extreme Peach



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  posted on 1/17/2008 at 06:06 AM
some people are very, very bizzare.

 

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  posted on 1/17/2008 at 07:46 AM
When I was 10 years old, my daddy caught me doing the whap-a-dang in the bathroom. He took away my "reading material" and made me watch televangelists for the next two weeks.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/17/2008 at 09:52 AM
quote:
When I was 10 years old, my daddy caught me doing the whap-a-dang in the bathroom. He took away my "reading material" and made me watch televangelists for the next two weeks.


Wow. You too!

Except my ma caught me and sent me to see the pastor at church.

Incidently, it was he who confiscated my "reading material"

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/17/2008 at 10:19 AM
I finally read thru the whole thread.
it is truly hilarious.

Go here for a very good chuckle:

http://forums.musictoyz.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/4066066091/m/9331012854

Enjoy

 

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  posted on 1/17/2008 at 03:04 PM
He shows himself at last! No ceramic caps!

 

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  posted on 1/17/2008 at 04:33 PM
Is this guy for real?

 

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  posted on 1/17/2008 at 08:10 PM



Its Steven Segal!


Serious musicians realize this guy is not good. His head is completely opposite where it should be. I wouldn't even consider playing with this guy (and I'm not even that good).

 

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  posted on 1/17/2008 at 10:13 PM
I am LMFAO reading this. The really sad thing is, i know, and unfortunately have played with people like this before. Good Luck in finding a band Mr Tony Ray Magic Hat Jimmy Mojo Shibideaux!


PS I almost choked from laughing about "digging up Willie Dixon for Mojo" LMFAO

 

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  posted on 1/17/2008 at 10:14 PM
Whap a dang doodle
 





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  posted on 1/18/2008 at 07:53 AM
quote:
quote:
When I was 10 years old, my daddy caught me doing the whap-a-dang in the bathroom. He took away my "reading material" and made me watch televangelists for the next two weeks.


Wow. You too!

Except my ma caught me and sent me to see the pastor at church.

Incidently, it was he who confiscated my "reading material"


So, I guess you then did your thing to the vision of Tammy Faye Baker?

 

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  posted on 1/18/2008 at 09:54 AM
quote:
quote:
quote:
When I was 10 years old, my daddy caught me doing the whap-a-dang in the bathroom. He took away my "reading material" and made me watch televangelists for the next two weeks.


Wow. You too!

Except my ma caught me and sent me to see the pastor at church.

Incidently, it was he who confiscated my "reading material"


So, I guess you then did your thing to the vision of Tammy Faye Baker?


Oh, sure. In my fantasies I had two smeared eyes on my lower stomach.

No disrespect intended - Tammy Fay was kinda hot in those days! <<< means I'm KIDDING!

 

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People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen.

Bill Ector, Randy Stephens, Dan Hills and a guy named BobO who I never met - Forever in my heart!

 

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  posted on 1/18/2008 at 12:37 PM
Whether the post is real or not really doesn't matter. It totally hits the nail on the head concerning a lot musician's opinions on what is the blues. And it would truely be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. For so many "white" guitarists like Tony Ray Pulaski, the blues began and ended with SRV. The three Kings (4 actually if you count Earl), the Hookers (especially Earl), Otis Rush, Roosevelt Sykes, Muddy, the Wolf, Bo Diddley, Albert Collins etc., etc. ... the new crop - Donald Kinsey, Larry McCray, etc. ... white guys like Johnny Winter, Clapton, Green, Bloomfield, ... hell ... Bill Monroe, Hank Williams, the Carter Family, the Delmores, etc. have no musical value to them (the Pulaski's of the world) at the very least as a source of some much more original inspiration.

Also the gear sitiuation illustrates another malady affecting music in general. There is guy around here named Mookie Brill who has played bass with Steady Rollin' Bob Margolin who played guitar with Muddy in his last band. Mookie fancies himself an authoritive on all matters blues. And no lacking for "stories." A guitar that he plays when he is doing "his" thing was found in a trash bin ... or so he says. It does resemble one of those godawful cheap things Jimmy Reed was holding on one of his records. However, this does illustrate a misconception about blues artists. Does anyone really think that if Muddy, Wolf, BB or John Lee had their choice between a brand new Les Paul and a cheap no name brand that they'd actually play the no name.

Of course Tony Ray won't be the first control freak as far as clothes, equipment, technique, etc. goes in rock or blues for that matter. He reminds me of some of the "scholars" in Living Blues who can tell you how many skid marks Robert Johnson had in his drawers the day he died but have less rhythn than Ronald Regan.

[Edited on 1/18/2008 by Charlesinator]

 

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  posted on 1/18/2008 at 10:33 PM
quote:
quote:
I am a Bluesman. I play a 1961 Fender Stratocaster which is all original and strung with .011's into an Ibanez tubescreamer


no true self respecting bluesman would use a tube screamer.
i believe i remember reading some where that SRV used a tube screamer at some point.

 

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  posted on 1/18/2008 at 11:37 PM
quote:
quote:
quote:
I am a Bluesman. I play a 1961 Fender Stratocaster which is all original and strung with .011's into an Ibanez tubescreamer


no true self respecting bluesman would use a tube screamer.
i believe i remember reading some where that SRV used a tube screamer at some point.


C'mon . . . Give it up TOny. Or should I say . . . STEVEN!

 

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  posted on 1/21/2008 at 07:13 PM

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/22/2008 at 01:17 AM
I read Flea got the bass playin gig when he showed up in his gig diaper.

 

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Zen Peach



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  posted on 1/22/2008 at 10:39 PM
The best blues I've ever played has been just showiin up at a local Blues Jam with local musicians and jammin' I play bare foot and one night may have on a scooter run tank top or a Stryper t-shirt, depends. I am surprised he didn't say anything about the drummer having to have certain drumsticks and if he wanted the spin to be clockwise or counter-clockwise.

I auditioned for a band back in the day and even though I was told that my talent was beyond that of the player chosen. I was passed on due to my receeding hairline and that my drumsticks were all beaten up. (They were all I had in the van at the time)

 

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  posted on 1/22/2008 at 11:42 PM
quote:
I read Flea got the bass playin gig when he showed up in his gig diaper.


must have been his vintage safety pins.

 

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